I learned to see you as a distant, detached subject, clinging to the dogma taught

I endured the pain of your frost and indifferent friendship with commitment

I grew to love you for what you are and as presented even against the truth blatant

The rose of our dalliance sprouted in full elegance and bloomed in oppressive sighs

Then, on an eternal trail, it froze like a needle in your loathing presence

For company, I dined under the shadows, in solitude

For the warmth of your glance, I starved at the banquet of the damned

For friends, the stars attended me. Cold. Distant. Fleeting. Shrouded in the horizon

Even now, as I glide through your radar, I am but in stealth mode, in the intensity of your animus

Yet, the twin chambers beat for you and the pulse of the drums, well, who can tell?

Through the many heaves of a broken heart, the dances, once stolen, no longer thrill

So much longing. So much apathy

So much love rewarded with such fluttering and confounding disdain

The promises, spoken with disposable askance rectitude

All that was taken, masking the bile of exploits and ambivalence. Mendacity galore in the face of consuming affection

When all your consorts are no more and the embers of the spoils of deceit are forlorn

Wherewithal the bounty of gain pilfered in the race for the selfish?

The ever-decaying embers of the putrid drooling

Twined with the puritanical prurience of elegant repugnance

Yet, now, you reach out and beckon, as if jilted

If only the favors so once freely given were so easily replenished

I keep faith with the memories of those sweet lies as I stare skywards with the hopes of a hapless lover

Though my wayward heart looked askance once or twice for the stranger’s face

Yet, the affairs of the heart never caught me in the snares

Will you remember me, but not for the benevolence?

Will you think again of the one that pines away if not for the altruism?

Will you recall, again, the promises made with an abandonment of thoughts?

Or peek your head through the corners to seek out the cradle, once more?

Shall we, once again, speak with a language blank

Or mutter empty nothings with the knowledge of a vacuum?

In vain have I loved, all these years. For naught, the passage of time

The dampness of the face betrays the violent streaming bile that courses through the plumbs of the twin chambered drum.

From a distance, I now pine.

From that distance, you now attempt to grasp at the fragments of that joy. Yet, the chasm ever deep and the abyss, a bridge too far. A country once embraced in cold abandonment, now longed for but, with halting spirit and painful memories.

Will you remember me in spite of me?

Will you remember me in spite of you?

Written by

Bethel

I am an apostate puritan and a lost soul, so to say. I am also an active researcher in law and artificial intelligence. Check me out on LinkedIn and my other website - www.ourmirandarights.com